im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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