This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
