yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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