Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
thus making me awesome and them whores
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My breasts were aching with rage.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
