oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
