do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
