After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I will be naked everywhere
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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