wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
