They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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