Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
