I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
