Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
accomplished twins. life is a go
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
