I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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