Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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