The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
