Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just gift wrapped bread.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
