I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
