Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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