OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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