office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
