he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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