Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
