Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
