You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
