My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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