So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
