I think im going to throw up on grandma
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
