The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
