I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
