we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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