I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
this will be a night to untag.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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