Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
