Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she woke up with a sticky ear
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
