It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
