she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
