Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
