Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You need a sexual gate keeper
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
