i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
