I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
