I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
