it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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