Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You ate ashes out of my bong
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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