no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
