I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
