I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
