Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
