Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
BRING THE BAGELS
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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