Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
