I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
