The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
