If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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